This wouldn't be funny at all, except the "somebody" is a sentient taxi. An Epistrophy side mission involves V trying to talk somebody out of hurling themselves off a bridge.Needless to say, he's very unamused when he opens the door. You can tell him that it's safe to come out even if you didn't. When you knock on the container he's hiding in, he tells you to deal with her first before you even think of trying to get him out. In the Occupational Hazard gig, you need to rescue Hal Cantos from a cyberpsycho in a warehouse.Johnny's commentary is bitter and sarcastic but sometimes just hilariously petty like when he talks smack about people he knew in life.(And as he notes, Maelstrom showing up made him right about the techno-necromancers). When V arrives at the meeting place, Johnny shows up to ask whether the people who show up are Lizard Folk or Techno- Necromancers - V can say Reptilians, Unicorns, or "The Spanish Inquisition", with Johnny replying to the last one that he wasn't expecting that.that V stole the chip from and tossed into the back of an AV) - this results in one of Gary's followers trying raise money to build a monument to Gary's memory, at which point V can give up to $600 Eddies (with the tone of their voice implying they're paying not necessarily for Gary, but because they found it entertaining as hell to take part in an actual conspiracy).
This unfortunately results in Gary being " abducted into the Mothership" (translate, getting black-bagged by whichever corp.
It turns out that he's (technically) right, as V winds up spying on (and eventually gatecrashing) a meeting between a group of Maelstrom gangers and a " John and Jane Doe", who talk like they're werewolves ( as codephrases), with V taking a microchip that's heavily implied to brainwash whoever plugs it in their head.
Even better, if you continually talk to him and are friendly it unlocks a new quest.They can also give a "humble" donation of a single Eurodollar. V can argue with him, agree with him, or just ignore him. Prophet Gary lists a massive amount of conspiracy theories, such as how the Arasaka Corporation are being led by vampires, that the Militech government is controlled by Lizard Folk, and other lunacy.The trip has multiple obstacles including a dozen children crossing the street note which V will stop and insist on waiting for even if the player continues holding the gas, trucks blowing through a stop sign, and police blocking off the road.ĭexter: S'why y'all why you got a fixer, anyone try to fuck with you, they first gotta fuck their way through Dex Deshawn's three hundred pound ass. One side-quest involves a pantsless man named Jesse with a malfunctioning penis implant screaming in agony as he begs you to take him to a ripper.The two of them then just kinda awkwardly stammer and seemingly decide to Let Us Never Speak of This Again. In the inverse, if a male-V attempts to kiss River, he objects, citing that he doesn't swing that way.They're both having a blast with it even if V ends up gently rejecting his advances. They're "The way you swallow? Beautiful!" note said by a guy who was ogling her in a diner, "I'll fuck you for free" and "Here I am. Speaking of River, the pickup line he uses on V to initiate a romantic relationship is so bad that it prompts V to recount the only lines she got in her life that were even worse.Gonna go plug my ears, gouge out my eyes. Can't believe you're makin' me fuck a cop. Even funnier? This quest is triggered by completion of I Fought The Law, which can involve V putting on a random BD headsetwhich turns out to be spiked with a virus that almost kills them.Also scaring the pants off the BD seller who sold you out when you turn up again alive and very angry? Priceless.Waking up to Johnny sarcastically highlighting how you just grabbed the Idiot Ball big time and discovering it's the exact same Scav Hideout you smashed up in the prologue now littered with notes complaining about you and Jackie's rampage? Actually pretty funny. Falling for a fairly transparent 'vintage' BD scam where you blackout and wakeup in a Scav Hideout soon to be stripped for parts? Terrifying and mildly depressing.What makes this even funnier is that "Tofu'd Tuna and Pineapple Pizza" is a relatively common food item throughout the game.In other words, putting pineapple on pizza is now worth a bounty on your head in 2077. One of the NCPD's wanted poster is for a Animals ganger named Mauler, wanted for "Illegal use of pineapple or pineapple-adjacent products," citing the "Pizza Desecration Act".